Yes, well, the definition of the word ‘humanity’ is always a rather complex question, isn’t it? I think I might have miscalculated. I don’t know. But I’d probably blame the English. Well, who are you boys? Oh, of course! Are you his companions? Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority. Let’s go in! And in that battle there was a man with more blood on his hands than any other. A man who would commit a crime that would silence the universe. And that man was me. Smith. Doctor John Smith.

Life depends on change and renewal. You are the only mystery worth solving. A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting. Every great decision creates ripples. Like a huge boulder dropping in a lake. The ripples merge and rebound off the banks in unforseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences. Oh my word! But there are three rules! One: I’m in charge. Two: I’m not ‘the Professor’, I’m the Doctor! And the third… Well, I’ll think up the third by the time we get back to Perivale.

What?! Come out. And don’t touch anything! Well Kangs, I must say, there’s no place like home… and this is no place like home. I’m half human. On my mother’s side. He was dead already, I’m saving us. Follow me, and run! Small though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when working at full efficiency, not unlike myself! This stuff, or whoever sent it, is cleverer than we are. Unfortunate, isn’t it? Low tech? Grace, this is a type 40 TARDIS, able to take you to any planet in the universe and to any date in that planet’s existence. Temporal physics.

Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I’ve ever encountered. Jelly baby? Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about? Well, my Doctorate is purely honorary and Harry is only qualified to work on sailors. This stuff, or whoever sent it, is cleverer than we are. Unfortunate, isn’t it? Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings! Mmmm… what’s that m’boy? Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.

I know who I am, I… AM… THE DOCTOR! Smith. Doctor John Smith. Do you wanna come with me? ‘Cause if you do, then I should warn you — you’re gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won’t be quiet, it won’t be safe, and it won’t be calm. But I’ll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime! And I’m looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind, I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving. Goodbye, Clara.

Bow ties are cool. Geronimo! Alright? Of course I’m alright, my child. You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the gentle art of fisticuffs. Please tell me I didn’t get old. Anything but old. I was young! Oh… is he grey? You see when I started, all those years ago, I was just running. I called myself the Doctor but it was just a name. Then I went to Skaro. And I met you lot. And I understood who I was. Doctor no more. The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can’t just read the guidebook, you’ve got to throw yourself in! Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers! Or is that just me?